


Stay

by lemotmo



Category: The West Wing
Genre: Angst, F/M, Romance, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-09-10
Updated: 2005-09-10
Packaged: 2019-05-30 23:43:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,123
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15107234
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lemotmo/pseuds/lemotmo
Summary: What if love is strong, but reality is stronger? A story about one night and its consequences.





	Stay

**Author's Note:**

> A copy of this work was once archived at National Library, a part of the [ West Wing Fanfiction Central](https://fanlore.org/wiki/West_Wing_Fanfiction_Central), a West Wing fanfiction archive. More information about the Open Doors approved archive move can be found in the [announcement post](http://archiveofourown.org/admin_posts/8325).

**Stay**

**by:** Ellen  
**Pairing(s):** Josh/Donna  
**Category(s):** Romance/Angst/Song!Fic  
**Rating:** YTEEN   
**Disclaimer:** The characters belong to Aaron Sorkin, et al  
**Summary:** What if love is strong, but reality is stronger? A story about one night and its consequences.  
**Spoiler:** none  
**Written:** 04/24/03  


_'You close your eyes and leave me naked by your side_  
You close the door so I can't see the love you keep inside  
The love you keep for me.  
It fills me up, it feels like living in a dream  
It fills me up so I can't see the love you keep inside  
The love you keep for me' 

The line we were never supposed to cross has been breached. We opened a floodgate of emotions, which drained us completely and left us with nothing more than the hollow shells of our bodies. 

I couldn't believe what you said, but when you did, I knew it was the right thing to do. You looked me in the eye and whispered: "Just tonight, Josh. One night and then we'll just go on like before. Tonight, let's forget who we are and where we work. For just one second in time, let us be like desperate lovers sharing a loving moment." 

I wanted to say 'no' and leave, knowing in the back of my mind that it wasn't a good idea. How could we ever be the same after something like that. But before I knew it, your lips were on mine. My heart felt like it was going to explode and jump out of my chest and I knew. I knew I wouldn't say 'no' and leave, because the truth was that I wouldn't want to be anyplace else at that exact moment in time. Your arms were all I needed. It seemed it was all I've ever needed. It felt like coming home. At that moment I stopped thinking and started feeling. 

Now I'm awake, lying next to you. You're breathing softly and all I want to do is hold you in my arms and take you somewhere where we could spend the rest of our lives making love. But I know that's not for us. Our future is not with each other. We are not supposed to be, we're just a fluke. But, oh God, what I wouldn't do to make this night last forever. My eyes are getting tired from watching you sleep and I can feel myself drift away into a dream. I know I should leave now, but I can't. I have to stay to watch you fade away. I'll dream of you tonight and tomorrow … tomorrow you'll be gone.

_'I stay to watch you fade away_  
I dream of you tonight  
Tomorrow you'll be gone  
It gives me time to stay  
To watch you fade away  
I dream of you tonight  
Tomorrow you'll be gone  
I wish by God you'd stay'

~~~

_'I stay awake and watch you breathe_  
I stay awake and watch you fly away into the night  
Escaping through a dream'

You think I'm sleeping, but I'm not. How could I? I still can't believe I said the things I did and they led to this. Still not quite sure how to define 'this'. I know you're watching me, I can feel your eyes upon my skin. I hear your breath as it starts to get more relaxed. I know you'll be asleep soon. Dreaming sweet dreams … dreams I would like to have. But all I can think of is that tomorrow it will all be gone. You'll be gone. 

I can feel tears falling from my eyes and I slowly open them. I watch your face, your beautiful face that I've come to love so much. And I can't bear the thought of you leaving. Stepping out of my room and house, only to never return. It is this moment that I know what I have to do. I gently touch you hair and kiss your lips for the last time and quietly get up. I put on some clothes and let my eyes linger on your features one last time before I silently close the bedroom door. 

Now I'm sitting in your chair at your desk. And I'm thinking of tomorrow. You'll get up and notice that I'm gone already. You'll sit on the bed for a while, realising that the moment's gone and it's not coming back. Knowing that the time was never right for us and probably never will be. You'll get dressed and leave for work. You'll arrive at the White House, saying 'good morning' to everyone just like you have done every other morning. Only difference will be, it won't be just another ordinary morning. It will be the morning after 'our moment', the 'second in time' that we stood still together. You'll enter the bullpen and you'll notice me sitting at my desk. You'll say 'good morning', but you'll avoid looking at me, knowing it would hurt too much to see me and not being able to touch me. Not then, not ever again. 

I know this, because that is how I will feel. I will know you're there before you have even spoken. I'll feel your eyes on my back and I'll have to hold back my tears. You'll greet me, enter your office and that will be it. We'll go on doing exactly what we've always been doing. Loving each other at a safe distance. Keeping the memory of that one moment, hidden deep in our hearts. Never forgetting it and drawing comfort from it whenever we're lonely. Knowing that once we loved and were loved. 

I think of all this while I sit here. I notice that it's getting lighter outside. I should probably get to work. You have an early staff meeting this morning and I still need to prepare some files for that. I take one last deep breath and stand up. My mind already on the task ahead. This is the way it's going to be. Life goes on, but before I leave your office I take a quick look around at your stuff. My eyes linger at the picture of your grandfather that you love so much and at that moment I can't help thinking: 'What if … ?' But I quickly dismiss the thought and I sigh deeply. "Time to prepare those files," I say to no one in particular. I turn around, step outside and close the door behind me … forever.

_'I stay to watch you fade away_  
I dream of you tonight  
Tomorrow you'll be gone  
It gives me time to stay  
To watch you fade away  
I dream of you tonight  
Tomorrow you'll be gone  
I wish by God you'd stay'


End file.
